MTV Unplugged 20: Uncle Ruckus
by BlackPanthersMJ1958-2009
Summary: One of my favorite albums is Lauryn Hill's Unplugged album. So I decided to create a parody version with Uncle Ruckus spreading his anti-black "messages" I'll be updating weekly.
1. Introduction

MTV Unplugged 2.0 by Uncle Ruckus

(Disclaimer: I do not own any of the songs in this fic. All songs are parodies of works by Lauryn Hill, except the last two being Bob Marley)

Chapter 1: Introduction

"Oh, no! Not y'all! Can we put all the niggas in the back?!" I shout out to the audience. I chuckle a bit, but in all seriousness I really wanted the Negroes in the back or gone for that matter.

"Ok, well, uh my name is Uncle Ruckus, no relation and this is my representation of MTV Unplugged 2.0 by that crazy bald-headed monkey Lauryn Hill. She was wrong for telling such lies about our almighty white man. But um, these are songs that very few people have heard about my philosophy and wonderful life lessons that I've learned. And if you have trouble hearing the words, please raise your hand, because it's very important that you beautiful white people hear the words. (tunes guitar) This first piece we call Mr. Negro. We all set? Okay.


	2. Mr Negro

Chapter 1:

_Mr. Negro_

_See the road to jail is very easy for some_

_All the cells, filled with niggas so dumb_

_How they can't escape y'all just some hopeless victims_

_Nigga don't you ever come near me, Mr. Negro_

_Lead themselves to a path of self-destruction_

_They got no one else oh how I love corruption (laughs)_

_They need to be fed lots of chicken and Kool Aid_

_In order to prevent getting their a** beat like Jaide(Worldstar HipHop: Jaide fight)_

_Why they ain't important_

_It has no explanation_

_Please don't you mess with me, Mr. Negro_

_We try to be equal, by trying to be one_

_But how can we do that with niggas left in the sun_

_The crucial effort to get rid of all deez coons_

_To engage in confrontation, genocide ain't happening soon_

_Validating lies, Mr. Negro_

_Go and get a job, Mr. Negro!_

_Stuck in a system that keeps these niggers free_

_Held emotionally hostage by the same disease _

_Niggas are lazy, don't do s*it but sleep_

_Us white folks say we ship them into the seas_

_Stop before you walk because that's just the way it works_

_Please don't rob me, Mr. Negro_

_Wake up, here's your coffee_

_I'll take up your bed, you walk_

_Let's just blame the niggers_

_It's always their fault_

_Accept the truth about them_

_You know that life goes on without them (I wish) (laughs)_

_And their expensive pairs of Jordans_

_Disguising what's important_

_Don't worship their blond weaves, Mr. Negro_

_The only help I need to live is traditional_

_The only wealth I have to give is material_

_And if they need money for bail, I'm not available *laughs*_

_*audience claps*_

_Please don't entertain me, Mr. Negro_

_Please don't sing or rap for me, Mr. Negro_

_Stay away from me, Mr. Negro_

_So unconventional_


	3. Toby Lives In Theory

Toby Lives In Theory

Spoken: A lot of these songs, too, some of them, they don't really have titles to them, so if you have suggestions that I agree with, please raise your hands. I'm speaking to the non-black people in here. This one we refer to as, um, Toby Lives In Theory, and when I say Toby, I'm actually speaking about all of the Negro race. I know a lot of the content in these songs is very racist to some *coughs* coons, but, um, see, equality is what people want, but darkies need to be destroyed. And I'm trying to attain genocide, because I've realized that—(applause), Y'all gon make me start shootin niggas.

Toby lives in theory trying to rob the establishment

Masquerading like he's priorities are straight

Cut off from his drug dealer only got eighty-seven cents

Got no clothes to wear or food to put on his plate

Left to his old chicken bones, his wife left him alone

Prayin to the crackhouse of himself

Making drug drop offs, selling Gucci knock-offs

Like he's got all the b*tches and no one else

He loves to be faded, and he makes it complicated

And he shows niggas how to be just as he is

B*tches and the dranks, and his mama's pussy stank

To the "AYY!" of all the people where he lives

LaQueefa's so hungry, corrupted by the pride and greed

Wanting to eat everything in sight

Wandering in the store, beggin Holy Whitey for more

And now she's stealing Big Macs in the night

Now can you tell me what

What we gonna do now

Where we gonna go now

What we gonna say now

(Repeat)

(Moments later)

Stop walking to titty bars

Let White Jesus take you far

Unlearn everything you know and let Him teach you

Line upon line

And precept upon precept

Say deuces to this pro-black ratchet system

He wants to see

How far we're willing to believe

If we say we love Him like we do He'll try us

Just don't leave

Or buy 26 inch blonde weaves

Once he's satisfied His love he won't deny us.

Then can you tell us what

What we gonna do now

Where we gonna go

What we gon say now

(Repeat)

(Ad-libs)


End file.
